22 year old graphic arts student with Non-verbal Learning Disability (NLD/NVLD).
Painfully shy, socially awkward with anxiety/depression. Actually afraid of speaking to people on the internet for no reason at all but I have a tumblr anyway. My natural hair color is pink, but its blonde/pink/purple/blue/teal at the moment, and my species is a teal deer/space llama.
A work in progress because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore with my life.
Interests are: art, animals, space, science, fashion, video games, goth, punk, steampunk, visual kei, j-rock, lolita, social justice, no wave feminism, music, writing,
Specifically I reblog autistic spectrum things, The GazettE, The Strokes, Craig Ferguson and NCIS: LA stuff a lot.
Background is Spiral Galaxy M74 and is from the Hubble Space Telescope.
fuck this. fuck everything. I just want to not do anything for a while. I can’t even deal with my mental health in small slices let alone large slices and after the abrupt descent into being sick for about 2 months solid on top of perpetual panic attacks on top of the death of my mouse on top of the stress at work on top of school I cannot process things, I cannot care anymore, all my papers are late and I just want to drop my courses because its too much effort for nothing to even try when I do work even from home. I feel grey seeping in, and it terrifies me because the last time I felt this perpetually fucking exhausted and colorless and stopped enjoying things I got so brutally depressed I dropped out of school and spent several horrible dark months existing confined to my house while going round and round the cocktail of meds and psychiatry appts and ppl asking me if I was ok.
No I am not fucking ok, I want to be left the fuck alone until I stop hurting, then I’ll come back and be friendly for as long as I can possibly tolerate before my threshold snaps and I have to go hide and recover.
I never want to go through that again.
and this is the goddamned last time that I EVER listen to anyone tell me it’s a “bad idea to take time off school because you’ll never go back!” fuck you you don’t live in my brain, ok? it’s a mess rn. fuck off. I need to go to school w/ precedence over my job cause I gotta get through but I need to keep my job if I can through the end of the summer to afford shit & get outta debt as much as possible and that is literally the only reason I stayed there (well & I am making friends but man, it would be easier if I hadn’t fucking had the brilliant idea to put myself through a goddamned emotional meat grinder and did one thing at a time and not all at once)
you people should learn about the goetic demons like for example:
this is prince stolas, he is a long legged owl demon who teaches knowledge about astronomy and herbs to anyone who conjures him
whats not cool about an owl demon
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT IS NOT COOL AS SHIT ABOUT THIS GUY
it got better
owl demons are the best <3